If Heaven wasn't so far away...

Every morning I listen to the radio as I get ready for work. For some reason in my room on my clock radio, I only get 1 stinkin' station. Something about my old house and the worthless reception in it makes it ohhhh so convenient to just get 99.5 The Bear. Yep, this is that country station that has Rick Gilbert on there. I think he talks like his teeth are about to fall out of his mouth. (He's the guy that announces men and women's basketball games at Tech along with the baseball games.) Anyway, they typically play the same playlist every morning and it seems like it's the same song at the exact same time as the day before! Pretty bad, I know. Okay so the point of this is that station plays this song by Justin Moore called "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away." Feel free to go look up the lyrics if you have not heard it. But the gist of the song is if heaven wasn't go far away, he'd pack up the kids and go for a day. Pretty cool if you think about it.

Well, this got me thinking. If heaven really was just "across the bridge" as referenced in the song, I'd probably be spending a good chunk of my weekends there. I'd be visiting my Grana and Gramps letting them talk to me about life and hearing their funny stories. Or I'd be playing Skip Bo with Grana and her friends while they drank Shaefer beer or that boxed wine. (Don't drink Shaefer beer...not worth it!!!!) Grana and her friends made boxed wine cool before slapping the bag became the new keg stand. My Great Aunt Peggy, Dessa, and Grana would play Skip Bo for hours. It was unreal. Shoot, and any domino game, they would all kick my butt at that too. Even when I was little and I'd hide extra Skip Bo's under my leg to try and get an advantage, Grana found a way to beat me by 10 cards. If you've ever played Skip Bo, you know what I'm talking about. I'd also be spending some time with my Great Grandad Walker. GG Walker always wore suspenders, I mean ALWAYS! It was his staple. Well, if you pulled his suspenders and they slapped him, he would laugh so hard. I mean that hard, deep laugh that comes from the gut. It was so hilarious to pull his suspenders and watch him laugh. I know he only did that because we thought it was hysterical, but he was the best guy ever. Also I'd go talk to my Great Uncle Joe Turner. When I was little (like 6-8 years old) and we'd go see them, the first question he would ask me was "Are you married yet?" When I would say "NO WAY JOSE!" He would say "Well ok, just checking. You can't just marry any ole fella. He has to be the right one!" I'd just laugh and say "okay" and run off. But that has stuck with me since then. 

But anyway, that song has a pretty cool meaning to it and it made me think of all the people who have gone before me but yet left so many lessons I've learned and molded me to who I am today. They may be just over the bridge, but when I'm ready to get there, I'll run to each of them like I did when I was a little kid getting out of the car at their house.

Salutations my friends,

Hilary

P.S. I'd also walk all of my previous basset hound puppies everyday like I walk Marty. Those poor doggies didn't treat the kind of treatment they deserved so I'll make it up to them one day. Sorry Josephine and Napoleon, you were Mom and Dad's kids before we came along and then you got shoved into the back yard. And Penelope, you didn't like us from the get go probably because I cried but I'd still walk you. Chester and Gilbert, I'd give you belly rubs until you got tired of them.  

Fam Damily

Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts. -Author Unknown                                           

I think we can all agree on this on some occasions. I know sometimes my family drives me absolutely to drinking and there is no way around that. However, I also know that when I am drunk from them making me drink so much, I can drunk dial them and they will answer. I am fully aware that I do the same to them too. Family is the most important thing, the absolute most important. I work in college athletics and it is a demanding job. It's taken me awhile to draw the line between what is important at work and what needs my attention back home with my family. As my previous blog post showed, we had a death in our family this past week and it has been a rough time for my mom, dad, brother, and me dealing with the loss of a dear friend. I have been home since Tuesday and the work emails, texts, and calls have not stopped. However, I have (for the most part). Reason is because my mom needs her daughter, my brother needs a sister, my dad needs to talk baseball, and my nephew needs his Hilly. (Sidebar: yes, that is what RJ will call me. Hilary is too hard and Aunt is for someone who is 70 plus that you don't know what to call them. Hilly seems like a good fit.) Also, my brother's dog, Cye,currently slobbering on my leg as I type this, needs some TLC. We all know how I have a huge soft spot for doggies. Cye certainly needs some TLC. Since RJ came to town, Cye has been treated less than stellar to say the least. Nothing against Ryon, he is doing the best he can. Okay, back to my original point. This week has really made me realize I need to be more involved with my family. Not that I'm not since I talk to my mom and dad just about everyday on the phone and get all the "news" of the day. Generally, that's how many times RJ bit at daycare or if my mom played golf or bunco that day. But it made me see that there are 5 members of this family that make it a whole and I need to make it complete more often than I do.

This is not to say I don't get angry or irritated at my family. I mean I had to write the directions down 2 different times for my parents on how to watch a DVD and then they still call me when they need to put one on the TV. How irritating is that?!?! And goodness gracious, the amount of stinky mess that is in a diaper should be illegal, but RJ can't be walking about in a diaper full of mess. I'm just saying that my family will be the only thing that is with me my entire life. Friends have come and gone from my life, some have been there with me for awhile, but no one has been with me as long as Renee, Mike, and Ryon. RJ is a great addition to the family. So I encourage you to make your family whole by getting involved more in there lives in a physical sense. We can always blame work, travel time, money, any one of life's excuses. But I can promise you, it is worth every penny or minute of it when you see your nephew giggle so hard from bouncing a deflated volleyball off of your head. I mean the kid fell over laughing so hard. It took me a minute to figure out what he was laughing so hard at. Makes 625 miles round trip and 10 hours in the car all worth it.

To my family, you're welcome. Haha! I mean, thank you for being there for me no matter what. Even you Mom for leaving me at First United Methodist Church in Decatur one week and then the next week forgetting to pick me up. Dad, thanks for Saturday morning donut dates, teaching me how to crack sunflower seeds and showing me to spit them out without losing all the rest, and for always keeping an eye out for jobs in college athletics. Ryon, thanks for teaching me patience. Mom, thanks for letting me vent to you no matter what. These are just a few things out of more than a million but we don't need to go into too much detail...ha! Oh and RJ, thanks for showing me that we all have that inner child in us somewhere that just wants to scream at the top of our lungs for no apparent reason and in the most random places, like the bathtub!

Family bends but those bonds NEVER break! Family gives before it takes. This is what the Sanders family is to me. Make it be about yours too!

Love, peace, and chicken grease,
Hilary

Cancer Sucks

Today, I got a call from my mom. She told me that her best friend passed away today. Sheri had been battling breast cancer since about 1998 if I remember correctly. It could have been 1-2 years before that though. Sheri wasn't just my mom's friend, she was also my friend. You know how you have those people in your life that are your parent's friends but they would do just about anything for you too? Well, Sheri was that person to me. Sheri fought a long, hard, yet graceful battle with this stupid disease. She did it with a smile on her face and a fire in her eye that let everyone know she was going to beat it! There were a few years she was in remission but then something would happen and it would come back. Every time that happened and she let my mom know, my mom would get so angry and Sheri would say "oh it's okay, I know what to do now." She'd get back to fighting it. She had such grace and positivity beaming out of her that you had no choice but to believe she was going to beat this crappy disease. Sheri never let her fear (if she really had any, I don't think she did) show and her voice never wavered on the phone until these past few weeks. That's only because one of her vocal chords had been paralyzed by a tumor and she could only speak in a whisper. The point of this isn't for you to feel sorry for Sheri, Sheri's family, my mom, or me. It is to let you know that we are all fighting some sort of battle. How Sheri handled hers will go down in history as one of the best fought battles ever. Her grace, positivity, will to win, and her outlook on life is some of the best I have ever seen. This is not mentioning she held her head up and kept fighting throughout one of life's roughest battles.


Sheri came to my Master's graduation ceremony. She sat through that boring ceremony with my mom, dad, brother, and nephew and when my name was called, she stood up and clapped like I was her own child. She won't be able to do that at her son's Master's ceremony next month. But I know she will be yelling at the top of her lungs then because she is no longer hurting. Sheri never forgot a birthday or Christmas with my brother and me. She never forgot my mom or dad's birthday, Christmas, or their anniversary. Sheri was such an influence on my life and has taught me so much about my attitude and that I am in control of that no matter what battle I am facing. I owe her a lot and I don't think I said "thank you" to her as much as I should. 


I hope you have a Sheri in your life. One that pushes through adversity while radiating love and joy to everyone around. I hope you have someone that has shown or is showing you that battles are merely speed bumps along our path but our attitude is how you get around or through those battles. That's what Sheri did for me and I will forever remember and use the lessons she taught me.


To her family, I cannot imagine your loss but I know she is smiling on you because you were her rocks throughout it all. 


Sheri bent but her attitude, willingness to fight, and love for all never broke. She gave so much before she ever took. What a woman of character and so much grace!!!!!! I love you, Sheri.


I'll be seeing you,
Hilary

My interpretation of Bend but Don't Break

I have based my blog off of the song “Bend but Don’t Break” by the band No Justice. So it is only fitting I give you the lyrics in case you have not yet YouTubed or searched for the song.

Bend but don’t break give before you take
Always look ‘em right in the eye
These are words to live by

Jim proposed to Sue she said I do
they eloped into a summer’s night
Heading for Loredo that’s the way wind blew
They got in their first real fight
Standing at the alter shoes and her halter
Jim sweating out his Sunday best
Looking all around them but nobody found them
And this is what the preacher said

Chorus:
Bend but don’t break give before you take
Always look ‘em right in the eye
Always have a reason dress right for the season
Never cheat and never lie
These are words to live by

Billy’s washing dishes and all the time he wishes he could find a better way
Yea and no season had rain for a country singer bound for a life of that fortune and fame
He wrote a couple songs and they got a long into the hands of a bad Nashville man
playin’ on the radio and he ain’t never seen no doe
looks back down at them ugly pots and pans

Repeat Chorus
Bend but don’t break give before you take
Always look ‘em right in the eye
Always have a reason dress right for the season
Never cheat and never lie
These are words to live by

You know times in our life are nervous and reckless, sometimes it’s hard just to get by
Ain’t it good to know that we can still grow So gimme one word and tell me one time

Always me and mother and never were no other Daddy died when I was just three
Always understood that she did the best she could I needed someone right there Momma would be
I never thought twice to ask for advice when I got crazy in my head
Whatever the cause she would slowly pause And this is what Momma said

Bend but don’t break give before you take
Always look ‘em right in the eye
Always have a reason dress right for the season
Never cheat and never lie
These are words to live by

So the drift I catch from this song is be flexible, be lenient, be humbled, ask for help when you need it, don’t lie, never cheat, and live your life. There’s going to be times in your life that are tough to get through, you’re going to have to lean on others for support, and you’re going to get down on yourself. But don’t let that be the norm of your life. Let those times be the exception. When I hear this song, I don’t hear a country band singing to a crowd of drunk people at a bar. I hear “keep going” and I hear “life is tough, but it’s tough for everyone.” I also get reminded that life is ever changing and never the same so you have to be able to “bend” so to speak or you will break. Lena Horne said “it’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” We can all take something away from Ms. Horne, we can rearrange, use your legs-not your back, lean on people, and just push through it. (That's a subliminal message about CrossFit, which will be mentioned in later posts undoubtedly.) I struggle with leaving work at work, my faith sometimes, and my relationships. I feel like those are things we all struggle with one time or another. But, I just throw it all onto my other shoulder and keep going. I mean after all, if I choose to bear it all, I must carry it all too. My point is, don't let your load get in the way of your view and your goals. Just take everything in stride, hold your head up, and you'll get where you're going eventually. Just remember, Bend but Don't Break.

Be Kind and Rewind VHS tapes,

Hilary

Well, hello there...

So lots of people have a blog and it's a pretty interesting perspective on blogging. Well, at least I think so. Reason being is you can see what is important to people by what they write, how they write it, and plus, it's a great way to get information out to people. Assuming they read it. I feel like sometimes I have really good things to say, just no platform to speak it from. Hence, starting this blog. Now, feel free to take all I say with a grain of salt, use it in your personal lives, pass it on to someone who needs some laughter, or not do a thing with it. While this blog is for you, it is also for me. So my disclaimer is I will say things you will not like, agree with, or endorse, however, please have an open mind is all I ask. There's a lot you can do with an open mind rather than a closed one. I mean think about it, you can't really get any milk at the grocery store when the store is closed, but you can get a lot of it when it is open. With that said, have an excellent day or not, the choice is yours!


Yep,
Hil